Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Release me
from this pain
from this agony
Set me free
from this game
it's driving me insane
Scars
from tha past
that goes by so fast
When was the last
time I cut?
The last
time I mutilated?
The last
time I wanted to be dead?
to be rid
of all this dread?
No one
understands how I feel inside
I want to die
I want my life
to pass me by
One Day
I'll slit my throat
One Day
I'll blow my head off
One day
I'll be rotting
One Day
I'll cough up blood
One Day
I'll be Nothing
I wrote this right before I went into work. I was really depressed & such & I really didn't want to be there at all. Don't take this poem the wrong way.... I haven't been sucidal in a while.
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Scars (One Day)
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Tuesday, June 07, 2005 10:09 am
A Private Message just for me
Friday, May 27, 2005
Cut deeper into me
Let me bleed
Let them see
How much I need
Mutilation
the sensation
of the feeling
that I'm receving
that your not seeing
You shove pills down my throat
trying to let the demons out
DON'T YOU POUT!
CUTTING LETS THE DEMONS OUT!
I scream & shout
Yet you shove even more down me
This is not setting them free
I've done fine without the pills
but you just keep getting refills
Why can't you chill
and let me fight them myself
I wish I could throw them away
but you make the pills stay
I listen to what the shrinks say
It just makes the demons delay
Don't you pout
Cutting lets the Demons out
I got mad at my mom because she's making me take a higher precription dosage then what I've usually been taking like I use to take 10g's & now I'm taking 15g's. It sucks ass. I've been fine with the pills before so I want to try to go with out the pills but my mom would find out so.....I don't know....
-
Cutting Lets The Demons Out
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Friday, May 27, 2005 03:06 pm
A Private Message just for me
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Runaway
from everything
from everyone
Don't let them
control you
and turn you into
what they have become
Keep your secrets
don't let them out
don't let them shout
They'll have fits
while they nip
at your soul
and you body turns cold
Sow your mouth shut
don't let them know
cut it away
don't let them know
that your GAY
let us STAY
They hate us
They'll kill us
They'll rip us apart
cut out our heats
and smash them on the ground
The results of hate crimes
Where BI'S and GAYS
die......
I'll fight back
this is me
GO A HEAD KILL ME
or let me be FREE
Fuck your hate crimes
This time
we win
not with shedding blood
but with love
Some reason I felt like putting that in a rainbow, it suits the poem anyway. So I wrote this poem but as you could proably tell at the begining I wasnt planning it to be about Hate crimes. I started writting this about my depression problem while I was in school & the people next to be started talking about Gays Bi's & such. This one guy stuck up for them all the way, but the other one was like yeah all gays & bi's should go to hell. Bi's are only a little better. I so wanted to jump him right then & there. I was also about to speak up & say excuse you have a thing with Bi's? Well your looking at one watch your fuckin mouth! So... yeah..blah....GO SEE LILY -
Hate Crimes ( Win with Love)
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Tuesday, May 24, 2005 02:59 pm
A Private Message just for me
Friday, May 13, 2005
Brown eyes shinning
with dark ebony hair
she's so lovely
like a dark fairy
that I have to stare
You take my necklace
and put it on your head
like a pincess
nothing can be said
of me
I just stare on awe
because you don't have a flaw
I wish
I could kiss you
I wish
I could carcess you
I wish
I could hold you
I wish
you were mine
Do you see my signs?
I would cherish
and love you to the end
I can't play pretend
Your what I dream
and it seems
so sweet
So dark fairy
become my dream
Yeah so what I'm writting in pink! This is about kristine but.....I don't like her that much any more....I don't really know what I want any more...and I feel kind of sucidal right now.....
-
Dark Fairy
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Friday, May 13, 2005 02:59 pm
A Private Message just for me
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Wake up
don't die
don't disentegrate
don't disapear
Your so compasionate
Like a gurdian
I don't wanna be grieving
While you lay in the ground
Get stronger
not fragile
not weaker
Fight through it
FIGHT ON!
BE STRONG!
Because.....
We don't want you gone
We love you
Heal
I don't want to find...
your corpse on the bed
I don't want to find you dead
I don't want to be in such dread
So live On
The is still a ton
of things to do
Eat
Drink
Don't give up
Blink
Move your feet
anything.....
Just don't give up
This is about my cat Wart. Her liver is sick or sumething like that & she was starting to dye & now we have to give her IV's all the time & force feed her. I just hope she will get through this......
-
Don't Give Up
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Tuesday, May 10, 2005 03:00 pm
A Private Message just for me
Friday, April 29, 2005
Rotting alive
Rotting inside
Just let me cry
Just let me die
I'm not gonna try
anymore
Just take a look inside
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Quit making me miserable
I wish I was invisble
so I can hide
from all this skeeming
Your all deceving
Yall laugh
while I'm grieving
Yall make me feel like trash
Laugh all you want
I'll kill you in my head
I don't want your dread
I want you dead
This all thats been said
by me
Let me free
Okay so I "know" this girl & she wasn't really trying to be mean but she poked me really fricken hard in the arm for no reason!!!! It made me so mad & she didn't I'm sorry or anything. This isn't the first time she's done sumethin similar. Like she asked once "Who's Brandon Mitchell?" & I was like My Friend that was beatin to death & she just smiled like "Oh....I see...." I was so pissed How can you smile about some ones death that was your friend & was close to you? I just wanna slap her! She thinks I'm her friend too & I'm not!!!!!!
I wrote this in math....and the girl sittin beside me asked "What are you writting" I was like a poem & she like "OH can I read it!?" I was like ummm I'm not finished with it yet, but you can read one of my other ones ( I write poems in my agenda book for some reason :P) So I let her read some & she like "Wow these are good!". It made me feel good. I also gave her this website since she seem intrested :D!!!!!!
-
Rotting
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Friday, April 29, 2005 02:49 pm
A Private Message just for me
Traces of you
Traces of me
Traces of our memory
Traces of our past history
Traces of our friendship
Traces of our love
Traces of my blood
from my knife
Traces of my life
You make me mad
You make me sad
You once made me glad
but this has gone bad
I'm free
from your worries
Free
from your watery flurries
Free
from the pain you cause
Free
from your emotional saws
Free
from you
and all thats left
....Is traces....
I wrote this yesterday. I read a message that a friend left for me & I got really mad! So I was just like FINE ME MEAN TO ME! I HAVE OTHER FRIENDS BESIDES YOU! I know it sounds mean but what she said was just harsh. I just said that I needed some down time & that she annoyed me a little....so I said I wanted some space & she made a big deal out of it!
-
Traces
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Friday, April 29, 2005 02:38 pm
A Private Message just for me
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Bring it
bring death
bring life
bring knifes
drown them
in blood pits
Kill you
Kill me
Let these deeds
set us free
We're all dying anyway
why don't we just leave
all today?
I'll cut your fuckin head off if you pray
I have something to say!!!
Bring it
bring death
bring life
bring knifes
drown them
in blood pits
Kill you
Kill me
Let these deeds
set us free
Die you fuckin bitches
I'll burn all your riches
I'll throw your bodies in ditches
No more beating me with switches!!
Yes I've been a bad girl
a very naughty girl
I'll make you scream
I'll break your gleam
and melt your dick off with a fuckin laser beam
nothing is what is seems!!!
Bring it
bring death
bring life
bring knifes
drown them
in blood pits
Kill you
Kill me
Let these deeds
set us free
This time I'm gonna fight
This time I'm gona make it right
U'm not your cute little girl
you make me hurl
You fuckin bastard
Your not my master
You've made my life a disaster
You Pedophile
I'm your child!!!
WHY!?
I'M YOUR CHILD!!!!!!
Bring it
bring death
bring life
bring knifes
drown them
in blood pits
Kill you
Kill me
Let these deeds
set us free
Set me free
Kill The Pedophiles
I was your child......
This is a song I wrote. Yes I'm weird heh.....It's kinda about my dad so........yeah....stupid pedophiles.
-
Set Us Free (Bring it)
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Wednesday, April 20, 2005 02:52 pm
A Private Message just for me
Monday, April 18, 2005
You've stolen my heart
yet I still watch you from a far
watching you huge him
and carasse him
I just turn away
My hope turning grim
Do you feel me rubbing your leg?
Why do you look at him instead
of me?
What is he to you?
He has a girl
you have no one
I have no one
So why him?
Are the lights too dim
to see me standing beside you?
You can't beileve
how much I want you
you won't see me
grieveing blood
for I feel stuck in mud
I can't get you alone
to tell you my true feelings
because your always protected
by your group of friends
you make me feel rejected
Dear Wensday
please be
with me
I'll be
everything you've ever dreamed
It's about Kristine. Ja her nickname is Wensday. I wanna go out with her......
-
Dear Wensday
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Monday, April 18, 2005 02:29 pm
A Private Message just for me
Friday, April 15, 2005
Here I am again
sitting on my bed
Rock music blaring from my stero
I'm not daring
I'm gonna do it
without caring what everyone else thinks
My shrink
doesn't help
drinking doesn't help
But
Cutting does
This time I'm not cutting my wrists
and I won't ever again
This time and for now on
It shall be my legs
It's not a crime
It feels fine
I'm gonna lie
I'm gonna throw away the pills
no more shall I cry
and suffer
and fight myself not to cut
no more prescription bottles on my shelf
Is this an addiction...
It might be....
but I sall no longer get dentions
So if I get depressed
out comes my knife
This keeps me alive
This helps me survive
Through the days
and no one will stop me
my depression will flee
This is what I need.....
My friend started freakin out because she said that The job that I'll start working at on Wensday (woot woot) see's my cuts that they will fire me! I was just like 'WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE!?" So I talked to my other friend about it. I thought she had stopped cutting but she didn't she just started cutting her legs instead where no one can see the scars. SO now I'm gonna start that. I cut to take pain away so don't take it the wrong way.
-
Cutting Away Depression
Your Bloody Valentine- FreakOnALeash @ Friday, April 15, 2005 03:07 pm
A Private Message just for me
