I wonder
what he thinks of me
I wonder
if he dreams of me
I wonder
if he ever seemed
to notice me in a different way
Or maybe this is make beileve
and this will all decay

Is this just a school girl crush
maybe just a lust
Every time I see him
I freeze up
and stutter
The butterflies start to flutter

All I know is that
I want him
I crave him
and I wish he was mine
but he's never given a sign
he drives me crazy
I wonder if he thinks of me
that way
Maybe one day
he will give a sign
and then he'll be mine

   It's about Dave, who works at Chipotle. I woke up in the middle of the night & couldn't go back to sleep so I wrote this, but now that I really read it....it sounds like I'm a stalker....I must of been doing sumethin......

A shadow of a thought
roams through the hollow
It can not be fought
you must follow

It will happen

Feeling so high
that I could die
from the heat
you put me in

Release me
from this pain
from this agony
Set me free
from this game
it's driving me insane

Scars
from tha past
that goes by so fast
When was the last
time I cut?
The last
time I mutilated?
The last
time I wanted to be dead?
to be rid
of all this dread?

No one
understands how I feel inside
I want to die
I want my life
to pass me by

One Day

Cut deeper into me
Let me bleed
Let them see
How much I need
Mutilation
the sensation
of the feeling
that I'm receving
that your not seeing

You shove pills down my throat
trying to let the demons out
DON'T YOU POUT!
CUTTING LETS THE DEMONS OUT!
I scream & shout
Yet you shove even more down me
This is not setting them free

I've done fine without the pills
but you just keep getting refills
Why can't you chill
and let me fight them myself

I wish I could throw them away
but you make the pills stay
I listen to what the shrinks say
It just makes the demons delay
Don't you pout
Cutting lets the Demons out





    I got mad at my mom because she's making me take a higher precription dosage then what I've usually been taking like I use to take 10g's & now I'm taking 15g's. It sucks ass. I've been fine with the pills before so I want to try to go with out the pills but my mom would find out so.....I don't know....

Runaway
from everything
from everyone
Don't let them
control you
and turn you into
what they have become

Keep your secrets
don't let them out
don't let them shout
They'll have fits
while they nip
at your soul
and you body turns cold

Sow your mouth shut
don't let them know
cut it away
don't let them know
that your GAY

Brown eyes shinning
with dark ebony hair
she's so lovely
like a dark fairy
that I have to stare

You take my necklace
and put it on your head
like a pincess
nothing can be said
of me
I just stare on awe
because you don't have a flaw

I wish
I could kiss you
I wish
I could carcess you
I wish
I could hold you
I wish
you were mine
Do you see my signs?

I would cherish
and love you to the end
I can't play pretend
Your what I dream
and it seems
so sweet
So dark fairy
become my dream

  

  Yeah so what I'm writting in pink! This is about kristine but.....I don't like her that much any more....I don't really know what I want any more...and I feel kind of sucidal right now.....

Wake up
don't die
don't disentegrate
don't disapear
Your so compasionate
Like a gurdian
I don't wanna be grieving
While you lay in the ground

Get stronger
not fragile
not weaker
Fight through it
FIGHT ON!
BE STRONG!
Because.....
We don't want you gone

We love you
Heal
I don't want to find...
your corpse on the bed
I don't want to find you dead
I don't want to be in such dread

So live On
The is still a ton
of things to do